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Comey Lashes Back At President Based On Poor Etiquette

Private Dinner With Former FBI Director Comey And President Trump Marred By President's Uncouth Conduct And Uninformed Table Manners


Published May 14, 2017



When James B. Comey rolled out of bed on Tuesday, he was the director of the FBI, spearheading an investigation to discover whether Pres. Trump’s collaborated with the Russian government to influence the 2016 presidential election. 

By the end of that day, Comey was unemployed.

Comey’s firing has caused a substantial of attention to be placed on a private dinner attended by only Trump and Comey seven days after Donald Trump was sworn in as president.

The conversation during dinner started with small talk about the crowd size at Trump’s inauguration.  It then meandered into whether or not Mr. Comey would pledge his loyalty to him.  Mr. Comey told the president that he would always be honest with him but could not be trusted as a political agent who would always side with him.

The reason: Trump’s atrocious table manners.

Mr. Comey has related to his close confidants that Pres. Trump’s table manners were so poor that he could not imagine pledging his political support.  “Trump chewed with his mouth open and used vulgarities throughout the dinner,” one reliable source told The LBT.  Mr. Comey, on the other hand, is used to saying grace before every meal and has the vocabulary of a choirboy, the source said.

Pres. Trump also reportedly passed gas without excusing himself which caused Mr. Comey “great unease and consternation.”

As described by two other sources, the dinner offers a window into Trump’s manners as a rough-and-tumble businessman and Washington vulgarian.  “Trump just does not fit in to the more refined class in the District,” one ally of Mr. Comey’s said.

The image of a new president passing gas in front of an important agency chief is bad optics for an embattle White House.  “The Administration does not stand by these uncorroborated statements,” said deputy press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders in defending the dinner.  Ms. Sanders said that while Pres. Trump frequently feasts on buckets of Kentucky fried chicken, he still “knows his salad fork from his desert fork.”

On Sunday, Pres. Trump tweeted that he always “chooses the utensil furthest from the plate and works inward.”

Allies of Mr. Comey also suggested that he was going to resign if the president had not fired him.  “No self-respecting Washingtonian would work for someone you would not want to sit down to a fine meal with.”

Mr. Comey is expected to resume his lucrative consulting work for a major defense contractor.